Angela
When I was little, I was so eager to grow up. Now, I am an adult but I wish I will not grow older. How ironic. Growing up is unavoidable but growing up means so much more than just growing up physically. I have experienced ups and downs in the recent years. All these eventually helped me in my growing up process.

I have been working for the past 2 and a half years now and I have come to learn that working life is not easy at all. Now, I can truly say that I appreciate all the hard work my parents have been doing for our family. It is my turn to work for the family.

Growing up needs a lot of courage. For me, growing up is a choice. We can always choose to live in our world and never grow up. I have chosen to grow up, to face the challenges and to be able to look back and say, "Phew, I have gone through that". It is a nice feeling, to be precise -bittersweet. Some has come into my life to help me grow. They come and they leave. Some will always remain and to grow old together. I am thankful for this journey of life. To be able to learn to love, to accept loss, to forgive and to love again. 

Again and again, I always wonder why is love so important in our lives? Will we die without love? Yes! We may not die physically but spiritually we are dead without love. In this process of growing up, I have learn to love, to love like how Christ did. I am still trying each day to love my neighbours as myself but trust me, it is not easy. It is not easy to be patient with those who always try their hardest to test your patience but yes I will keep on trying.

Here is my favourite hymn which has helped me in my process of growing :

Thank you, Lord,
for the trials that come my way.
In that way I can grow each day
as I let you lead,
And thank you, Lord,
for the patience those trials bring.
In that process of growing,
I can learn to care.

But it goes against the way
I am to put my human nature down
and let the Spirit take control of all I do.

'Cause when those trials come,
my human nature shouts the thing to do;
and God's soft prompting
can be easily ignored.

I thank you, Lord,
for the victory that growing brings.
In surrender of everything
life is so worth while.
And I thank you, Lord,
that when everything's put in place,
out in front I can see your face,
and it's there you belong.
Angela
It is near the end of 2012..and yes it has been a great year..a year of love, a year of growth, a year of laughter, a year of happiness, a year filled with hope.

With a blink of an eye, I have been in Singapore for close to 30 months now. I have gained humility and patience throughout my time here. Life is always filled with surprises and unexpected challenges. I would never have thought I would be a customer service officer after getting a degree in Communications. How would life turned out to be if I had chosen to start a career in a PR firm or an event's company? Life would somehow be more "dramatic" than my current lifestyle if I would have chosen that path few years ago.

There are just too many "what ifs" and "I should have" recently. I can never turn back time, so why don't I continue looking forward instead of looking back and wonder what would life be if I would have chosen a different path.

Where do I want to go from here? Here's the question for me now.

Angela
My first visit to Bangkok. Shiok! 
Just one word to describe it.

  
It was rather a rash decision actually. As we were browsing through Air Asia' website last December, we decided to get the air tickets as they were on promo. Without much consideration we clicked on the payment button and only worry about leave application months after that.

 

 

Vacations are always fun..
whether a relaxing stay at a nice resort by the beach, 
or an adventurous trip up on a mountain or like us, 
a shopping trip in BANGKOK!!! 
I must say I love shopping in Bangkok.



  

All we did there was
 EAT, SHOP, MASSAGE, EAT, SHOP, MASSAGE, 
it was our daily routine...and we enjoyed every bit of it...


I believe I enjoyed Platinum Mall and Chatuchak Market the most :)
So much to see, so many choices and $$$ is never enough, so we had to remind each other how much money we have left for the day. We even separated our cash in 6 portions. The day at Chatuchak and Platinum had the biggest chunk of Thai Baht as we knew we had to buy buy buy....buy until our pockets ran out of cash.




Men will usually have lesser choices when it comes to shopping. The most common line that comes out of our mouth when we shop in Singapore - "Eh! Sui lo..but wah..the price also very ex lo!" (this looks nice but it is pricey). 
Or Jason's usual statement - "you girls good la always have so many choices and all so cheap, $10 for a top". And it's true. 
But when we were in Bangkok, these sentences weren't heard...because even Jason could find good deals, of good quality and at good bargains =)



We both equally bought quite a number of things. I've got shoes, dresses, dresses and more dresses. And he bought a bag, many many shirts, pants, belts and I can't really remember if he bought anything else besides these.

Mass in Thai :)


 

Lesson learned from this trip - to go with friends.
If you buy one piece, it's sold at retail price and if you buy two or three pieces, considered as wholesale...so get to buy at wholesale price..hahaha! 
So who's with me for the next trip to the Shopping Land?
 










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Angela
It has been forever since I last posted anything here! 

Finally, I have decided to stop procrastinating and start to type. Today is a very special day for both Jason & I. Two years ago on this very same date, we decided to let love grow between us. I have grown a little "wiser" since three years ago. I no longer wallow in the past but have accepted it with a brave heart. I have used my past as a learning tool. Not to repeat the same mistakes. Not to take things for granted. And most of all, I now know that even if we give our all, it does not mean the world will give its best back to us each time. Simply because , as the saying goes , - THIS IS LIFE!

In all that we do, whether in our work or relationships, there should always be "check & balance". Always stop, reflect and pray for wisdom to know if we've been doing the right thing for the right person, at the right time. I have always thought that by loving with all our hearts and doing everything we can to care, we will always have love by our side. May be suitable for some but not all. Sometimes, what we may think is best may only be good for ourselves but not others. Therefore, always try to find out if what we are doing is right for the right person and also if it is at the right time.

I will end here with my favourite prayer :
Angela
I'm loving my life. Thank you Jesus!
Angela
This date used to be special. I used to spend plenty of time trying to make this date as special as ever. This year...this date is still significant even though I no longer spend a month's time thinking of what to do on this date. This date has now become a memory. It is because of this date I've grown into a woman (hehe)!!!

Thinking back of these past years...I have mixed feelings. *bittersweet* I had lots of good times and also bad times. Happy times would be remembered and bad times will be taken as lessons. My tears and heartaches from the past few years have made me stronger. I no longer cry over petty matters. I live as my own self and not as another person. I no longer live just to please another party. It was tiring. Now, I've learned the simple yet difficult word "Let Go'. Letting go is the greatest lesson which I have learned because of this date.

I no longer only care for one person but for everyone around me. Of course Jason is still *special* and on priority list but now my attention also goes to my family and friends. This is the kind of balance which I should have learned long ago....I know I'm late but better than never ???
Angela
It has been ages since I last blogged. This post is about a silly thought which has been circling my mind.

For the past one week, I have been thinking of this line -Forgive and forget- We have heard of this ever since we learned the word "sorry".

What do we actually mean when we say we are sorry? Do we apologize so we would feel better after a mistake is done? Or do we apologize because it is an easy way out of trouble.

When we say we are sorry, usually it means we are apologetic and we will not repeat the same mistake. But what if someone apologizes and yet repeat the same action / mistake daily? How do we forgive in situations like this? And definitely, it is quite impossible to forget.

Does forgiving or forgetting comes first?

Do we actually forgive someone and eventually forget OR do we forget and eventually forgive? How would we know if we have forgiven someone?

Until this very moment, after thinking of this thought over and over and over again....I still have not found an answer. Perhaps, this is only to be discovered when I have truly forgiven someone.
Angela
Yes! Vivian you have a very inconsiderate rommmate. I've always thought of myself as a very neat and considerate person. But, lately...I discovered my "dark side".haha!!!I'm as messy as anyone can be..i can be reli tidy for a day or two and then be very very messy for the next one week until my off day again!





Let the photos do the talking...
Angela
What do I really want to do? Who do I want to be? I have not really thought about this before. I have been living in the shadows of others. I have not been making my own honest decisions. It is time to start knowing myself more (my thoughts and wants).

When I was in primary school, every year my class teacher would ask me : what is your ambition?
I would answer : a doctor(1st choice), teacher (2nd choice), lawyer (3rd choice)....
How can that be? Doctor????I'm afraid of blood. Teacher? I wouldn't have the patience. Lawyer? I can't even finish a law degree due to short term memory lost. haha! I'm bad at memorizing.

Year after year in school, my friends and I gave the same answers....but we all turned out to be different persons now. We are not doctors, teachers or lawyers...though some of my friends do have their LAW degree.....and some are REAL doctors.

I on the other hand graduated with a degree in communications - a 3 year course to get me to "communicate" better =.=
All in all, I did enjoy the course....much hardships, tears as well as frustrations.....but in the end I turned out fine. I learned a lot about life through my years in uni. Love, friendship, trust, hardwork and most importantly I understood the meaning of the word "interest".

To be interested in something is easy..to lose interest in that something is even easier. Without interest, we will not be able to do something well. Be it a relationship, friendship or even your job. In order to make something work we must firstly have that interest blazing inside us not just a day, a month or a year. It has to be ongoing.

When I was in high school, I was more interested in guiding than books (honest truth). Looking back, I will not want to change a thing. It was the time spent building bamboo gadgets, starting fire using twigs, getting smashed by eggs and writing logbooks that made me who I am today. Those were good old days. Friendships were established. Patience were tested. This is what I call character building. It is either you get the good side of it or the bad. I didn't turn out too bad eh?haha!

Anyway, as I journeyed along....I met new people in life....and they made me see things which I have not seen. I discovered that I love weddings. I don't just love the ceremony. I love the dresses. Love the flowers. Love the cakes. Love everything that makes a "wedding".

I believe that everything happens for a reason. People come and go. Some may stay in our lives for a short while, some a while longer..and some will never leave. It doesn't matter how long they stay but it is the impact that they leave behind as well as the impact you leave in their lives.

In the beginning, I thought my obsession over weddings was just a phase. Now, I am sure it is not. Because even after all the trials I've been through for the past one year, I still am very interested in wedding planning.

I am 23. Still young but not too young. I will stay focus and go towards my interest so that I will live a life worth living. Keeping my fingers crossed ;p
Angela
LOADS!!!
SO much has happened since last Sept. My whole life changed. I was hurt. Heartbroken. Wept. Unwilling to move on. Holding on to the past. Hoped. Cried. Disappointed. Went nuts. Got sober. Got drunk and puked (once and that was the only one time).

My whole world went tumbling down in Sept. Tried to pick myself up but I failed for almost a year. In Dec I thought things were getting better, but no I was hit by 'tsunami'- he had a new gf.

January, never been so busy in my life attending meetings (Adwave 2010- my final year project). Adwave has resulted to fewer friends but more 'true friends'. You know who you are my true friends :) Bittersweet. Complicated.

March- yay! finally i'm 23 and I reli felt older. Adwave is finally over.

April - Singapore??Am I really leaving my home, sweet Penang to a foreign land???

May- Here I am Singapore. Working environment made me grow up. Physically in Singapore but my heart is definitely still in Penang. When will I ever grow tougher?? I need to be a fighter not a girl who used to give all she could and rely on him for security. He no longer exists.


June- Days got harder. Loneliness will never leave my side. The past cannot be left alone. The past haunted me everyday. Tears rolled down my cheeks whenever I think of the day he left.

July-How could this be?? My thoughts and feelings were messed up. I was no longer myself.

August- Convocation. The day I've been looking forward to since my first day in uni. hehe! Finally, 3 years of my degree has ended officially. I've finished school. Yay!!! But, the thought of returning to Penang got me worried. Will I bumped into him and her?? Will I be hurt all over again? The thoughts came back to me. I made a call. A call that I will never ever forget. Through this call I know for sure that he is no longer the man I used to know or loved. It was a wake up call. The phone call sounded like this : if you love me, know that I will never be with you again. How come I've never ever accepted that simple sentence before?? I guess I have heard it more than once. Why did I cry over a man who has stopped loving me?? A man who doesn't care anymore. A man who doesn't know love anymore. A man who will not wipe my tears when I cry or be there when I needed him. Why did I not turn to the man who has always loved me from the very beginning "The Father"?? What was I thinking?
The first person I met in Penang was him. He drove passed me. I couldnt find the feelings which I used to have for him. Then, I knew I no longer want him.

September- Another 2 days to go and it will be 1 September 2010. A new month. A new beginning. I am loving my life. Altough I've lost the 4 year relationship, I have gained much more from it. I am myself again. I JUST realized that life doesn't revolve around one person only. Now, I have so many loves of my life. I am 23 and I still have a long way to go.

Tomorrow, I will have a great time with my room mate, Vivian. We're visiting Sentosa!

To conclude, I have found love again. True love this time :) Now, when I think back.. my life has been great :) I am thankful. Deo Gratias.


p/s : revealing my true thoughts here can be embarassing but I still want to post it up. I am not embarrassed by my pasts and I want some of the girls out there who are hurting and happened to read this to know that no matter how much we've been hurt and let down, we will be okay after the rain. I see the rainbow now. God loves us!
Angela
walking past the so very familiar buildings..across the road which i once walked all the time. I had this weird...mixed feelings. A sense of joy and sadness. *Bittersweet* perhaps?

Leaving USM after the convocation ceremony. walking downhill alone. Remembering all the moments I had in uni. First day of orientation up till the last day of uni and now the parting ceremony.

Goodbyes can be hard but we have all said that. Now, it's time to look forward and continue on this long long journey :)

Angela
I have mixed feelings about leaving Penang to work in Singapore.
Never thought I would have to leave this wonderful island before until now.
Never had plans to leave Penang until recently.
Is it a good thing? Hopefully. I guess it is one way to start over.....to be away...to have new goals in life....
Am I running away???Am I trying to run and hide from my past?? I have had these questions running in my head a million times...and the answer is NO.
I have faced my past. Now, I want to have a future...and my future is in my hands. Getting to Singapore would be my very FIRST step into a new stage of my life.
This opportunity may not come twice and I'm so blessed to be given this chance.
Angela
We have to face so many trials in life.
I have been facing many lately.

Finally, I thought I was stronger and something just makes me fall again.
I do not understand. I just want to have my life back. Leave me alone.
Angela
We cannot deny that we are weak beings.
We fall all the time.
We lie. We cheat. We hate. We cry.
But, we are also strong beings.
After all the crying, we pick ourselves up.
We think. We learn. We get wiser.

No matter how much pain we've endured, we must not give up hope.
Hope is the one word which keeps us going everyday.
Love is God. If we do not have love in us, we do not have God with us and in us.
But, as a human I am starting to fear love.

I never stopped loving but love stopped loving me.
I never stopped hoping but hope stopped hoping.
I never stopped trying but he stopped trying.

I do not understand love in the way I used to anymore.
To me, love was never just feelings but now it is clearly shown that love is just a feeling.

Am I not human?
Do I not feel?
Once, twice...three times...
I left my heart open...
Just waiting for love to return.
Love returned quick and left even quicker.

How am I supposed to know how to act?
How am I supposed to know what is true anymore?
The one person I trusted the most,
Left me here in the dark.

Although I am broken,
But I am loved by Jesus my eternal lover

Although I know I will not forget my past,
But God will bring me forward.

I am so blessed to be loved by the one person who loves me for who I am not only yesterday, today or tomorrow but forever.
Angela
Don't lose your way
With each passing day
You've come so far
Don't throw it away
Live believing
Dreams are for weaving
Wonders are waiting to start
Live your story
Faith, hope & glory
Hold to the truth in your heart

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and I

Souls in the wind
Must learn how to bend
Seek out a star
Hold on to the end
Valley, mountain
There is a fountain
Washes our tears all away
Words are swaying
Someone is praying
Please let us come home to stay

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
Where clouds roll by
For you and I

When we are out there in the dark
We'll dream about the sun
In the dark we'll feel the light
Warm our hearts, everyone

If we hold on together
I know our dreams will never die
Dreams see us through to forever
As high as souls can fly
The clouds roll by
For you and I
Angela
The best feeling I've had was to hear this song. It was sung to me.

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
Want to vanish inside your kiss
Everyday I love you more and more
Listen to my heart, can you hear it sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change winter to spring
But I love you until the end of time

Come what may, come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you

And there's no mountain too high no river too wide
Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather and stars may collide
But I love you until the end of time

Come what may, come what may
I will love you until my dying day
Oh come what may, come what may
I will love you

Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place...

Come what may, come what may
I will love you until my dying day

The words are perfect. Unfortunately, this does not apply to all. Only some lucky ones.
I will continue to pray that one day the words of this song will be true in all of us.
Angela
Let It Be by the Beatles
When I find myself in times of trouble,
mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom,
let it be.
And in my hour of darkness she is standing right in front of me,
speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be.
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.
And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree,
there will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see,
there will be an answer. let it be.
Let it be, let it be, .....
And when the night is cloudy,
there is still a light, that shines on me,
shine until tomorrow, let it be.
I wake up to the sound of music,
mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
Let it be, let it be, .....
Angela
Love is patient and kind
Love is not jealous or boastful
It is not arrogant or rude
Love does not insist on its own way
It is not irritable or resentful
It does not rejoice at wrong
But rejoices in the right
Love bears all things
Believes all things
Hopes all things
Endures all things

Why do we always run away from what is true?
When we do not want to bear, believe, hope and endure any longer, we deny love.
We always choose the easy way out. Why?
Angela
It's always difficult!!! I find it very difficult in telling others to pick a harder right over an easy wrong. Even i find it difficult to knock some sense in my own head sometimes, what more trying to convince others. One good example would be trying to tell others about not having pre-marital sex.

Hmmph...this is something which may make others avoid me or even worse not talk to me at all. I made my choice to continue telling and might lose a friend. I hope that by losing this friend, I saved a life or maybe lives. There are reasons why i discourage pre-marital sex. Mainly because I am a Catholic. Before, i was very lost and I did not bother if pre-marital sex was ok or n
ot. It didn't bother me. Fortunately, I woke up from my sleep. I realized that many lives are suffering due to pre-marital sex.

I think most of the people who have sex before marriage would be young people. Most of the time, girls allow themselves to have sex at a very young age because they believe that act will bring them closer to their partner. Have they ever thought about the consequences when they separate later on? Girls are usually the victim. They will be devastated and realized that they have lost everything to a guy who is never going to be there anymore.

Is it really very difficult to stay chaste u
ntil our wedding day? Why? What can be done to stay chaste? Wouldn't it be a great joy and true happiness to make love to your spouse whom you love and has vowed to be there for you no matter what happens? It is only right to give up your body to someone who will appreciate and love you no matter what your age is.

I've been looking for love and I have found real love.



Young love



Angela

Wondering what is a skin care class all about????

It's all about learning, trying products for free and having fun..



Pei-Wern, Juliet, Sally and Ming having fun...

Top photo : They had mask on half of their face first and later on the other side...it'll be very bad of me to let them walk out with one side of their face brighter and firmer than the other side ..haha!!!

Bottom photo : Lip mask!!!!They all had kissable lips after the lip spa!!!woohoo



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This is Trisna. This is her photo after a skin care class. I like how the lip gloss gives her lips the shine.








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Here are photos of Juliet, Areen & Pei-Wern. This is their first skin care class!!!
They were busy chatting while applying moisturizer on their face. Discussing whose face deserves to win the "cleanest face" prize!!


Second photo : Angela in action! Was explaining about the basic steps we need to take in order to keep our skin clean and healthy! They were good students but just a little too chatty...you know la, G.I.R.L.S.

Bottom photo : Juliet in mask!Hmm...are you wondering if she's prettier with or without the mask??Check out other photos on Juliet in my later posts...